New beginnings

 Since starting this blog, I have always vacillated writing about  home funerals versus exploring topics related to dying consciously.  To me they seemed to be intertwined yet at other times completely separate. So to keep things simple I made my focus be on home funeral education. 

Death and dying has been a constant presence in my life these last few months.  Facing your own approaching death or that of a loved one is a journey everyone must face at some point in their life.  Over the last three years, a large portion of my personal spiritual work has focused on the spiritual aspects of the dying process. Some of teachings occurred as part of my death midwifery training and some happened coincidentally with my spiritual studies.   As I was introduced to these ancient practices, I would think to myself that the readings were preparing me for my mom's death.  My  mother had been given a "clean bill" of health three years ago after radiation treatment for a vicious squamous cell cancer of the face. After 30 days of radiation, my mom consistently received "clean pet scans" for the next 3 years. The cancer scare was a reality check for all of us and made me acutely aware of my mom's mortality. 

In October 2017, mom was diagnosed with metastatic cancer. At her biannual PET scan, suspicious areas glowed  in  her lymph nodes, esophagus, right adrenal, aorta, and right lung. The squamous cell we thought we had successfully eradicated, had been slowly eating her up inside these last three years. With a very poor prognosis (after full work-up and biopsies), we chose a 10 day course of palliative radiation and the day after, we drove to her childhood home and entered hospice at home. My mom's death journey out of this earthly life ended January 1, 2018.  It was a whirlwind of emotions from anger to exhaustion to despair. But at the very end, all that was left was love.  She was luminescent in death.

I'm not sure how much of this journey I'll choose to write on this platform but know it will be on facing death with your eyes wide open. Both in sickness and in health. 

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